the future's bright

I'm trying to work out why the whole world isn't swinging. And other than the jealousy that has to be dealt with, and the (very small) risk of infection that is present in any relationship anyway, I can't work it out at all. I am completely mystified by "happily married" couples and their 4x4s, three-wheeled prams and annual holidays to wherever it is they go (having not had a holiday in 8 years, I'm not hot on holiday destinations). Their mortgages, joint accounts, plans for The Future. I just can't make the connection between all of this and "happy", no matter how hard I try.

I realise I'm sounding like a cynical old bitch at this point, but whatever! I am a cynical old bitch ;)

See, when I'm in a monogamous relationship, the first thing I do is feel trapped. I look into my future, and it looks grey, and lonely, and fucking miserable. In fact, it looks an awful lot like prison. I think of all the temptation that's out there, all the casual sex there is to be had, all the things I'm expected not to do, like flirting, and it makes me want to scream. I don't want to make those sacrifices in order to feel trapped. It just doesn't seem... right. Yes, I have a green grass complex. I think alot of people do. Hence all the sordid affairs and angry divorces. And swinging - as far as I can see - is a good way of dealing with this.

The grass rarely is greener. I know that. We all know that. It doesn't stop me though. But being able to check the grass out, and still have my own grass... nothing beats that. Really.

bisexuality.