stroke of luck

I know I have always insisted that I'm not a lucky girl - that if shits gonna happen, it's gonna happen to me. It does indeed feel like that, most of the time. But I'm sitting here on my own drinking Stella and enjoying a smoke, and I'm thinking about the boyfriend, and the freedom he gives me, and right now I feel very lucky.

Lucky to have a fella who can accept that I need a bit more. That I like girls. That I want to be on my knees. That I want to perv. That I want to flirt and fancy and fuck others. I have no idea what's round the corner... but I do know that whatever it is, he is allowing me to find out. He's letting me be me, and fuck. That means so much to me. He means so much to me.

I don't say it often. I get bogged down with all the shit stuff that's happening, and I forget that not many men would give their girlfriends the freedom and trust that he gives me. It's so hard to explain how him letting me go makes me love him even more, but it does. When we were talking the other night, I was trying to explain to him that if I had a d/s relationship with someone else I could (and probably would) get emotionally involved. And his reply was "as long as you still love me, I don't mind".... and how can I not love that? To me, that's a sign that he understands me, and accepts me. That he knows I can love more than one person, that I can fancy multiple others, and yet I can still love him just the same as I always have.

And I do. He's bloody gorgeous, and I'm bloody lucky.

Sorry about the mush... it's only because I got fucked really really hard this morning. It'll wear off soon. ;)