things that make you go hmm

We didn't - contrary to some cynical opinions - go into swinging to try and save our relationship - it didn't need saving then. We just wanted to explore some of the dirty stuff that we'd whispered into each others ear. He made a plethora of cock sound so enticing, I had to try it. So try it I did, and fantastic it was. There's been little bits of other things too, but alot of the stuff that we whispered we have yet to try.... either through lack of opportunity, or a sudden crisis of trust, but I still want to. Just as soon as we can work out what the fuck we're doing.
All the books in the world about swinging can't really prepare you for the reality of it. The struggle of trying to find a good compromise, the feelings of jealousy or insecurity that you thought were in check. The unbelievable difficulty in finding people to swing with! There's either too many miles to travel, or not enough attraction, or complete incompatibility. Even single guys, who are rife in swinging, are hard to come by. Well, good ones are, anyway. The books don't say it will be easy, but they don't say how fucking hard it will be, either. But at the end of the day, they're just textbooks. And this isn't a textbook relationship, I'm not a textbook girlfriend, and the boyfriend...well. He's a scientist.

So we're still trying to find our way. Realistically, we will probably be trying to find our way forever more, because just when we think we've got it all covered, something else pops up that needs to be addressed.

The latest popper upper is swingers who swing behind their partners back - without their knowledge. Instinctively, I consider it cheating, and while I'm not getting on any moral high ground about it, I'm really not sure how I feel about swinging with someone like this. On the one hand, it shouldn't be any of my business. It's all about no strings attached sex afterall, so it perhaps shouldn't matter to me what their domestic arrangements are. I'm not responsible for anyone's relationship or actions except my own really, But I've been on the receiving end of mad jealous partners too many times (and I'm usually innocent too, funnily enough!) and I hate being in that position. And I hate knowing what it feels like to be cheated on and know I'm potentially causing someone else that same hurt.

Am I thinking too much?

Oh, and there was another popper upper that I should've seen coming but didn't. Someone who used to read the blog I wrote last year has recognised me on a swinging site! And the only good thing about it is that he's got a well fit body, which yet again confirms the gorgeousness of my lovely readers ;) But other than that though, it's freaked me right out! What if someone from a swinging site found this blog? They would know it was me, because of the name and the photos.... what if I had written about them and they recognised themselves? Swingers go on and on about being discreet, and I think I am. But am I, if I'm writing about it? Oh, I'm definitely thinking too much...

Who likes tights? ;)