temptation

The boyfriend has bought some scales, in a bid to motivate himself post-Christmas bulge. He doesn't understand how hard it is for me to have scales in the house. It's like leaving a bag of cocaine on the table; so hard to resist. But I have to resist it, because as soon as I step on those scales the body-obsession will return with a vengeance. And major depression as well probably, as I haven't weighed myself in about 10 years, and I know I put some weight on last month (another reason to fucking hate Christmas!) and argh!!!

I need the scales to go.

There is just too much temptation in my life right now. It's making me fidgety.

I'm having thoughts about tattoos, and dying my hair red, and being a cock loving lesbian. I think "I'm going to buy some paper and a pencil and draw stuff". I don't know why, I'm crap at it. I'm writing - nearly all the time. Or crying. Or drinking. Or all three.

Is that a storm I see up ahead?