thinking

Think think think. Think about Don. Think about Jack. Think about 'being' poly. Think about how hard it is. Think about the alternative. Think about recoiling in horror. Think about what I want. Think about who I want. Think about chemistry. Think about my 'type'. Think about vanilla. Think about strawberries. Think about the smoothie maker I bought, when I don't even drink smoothies. Think about my kinks. Think about my needs. Think I need more things to think about.

Think that everyone seems to be looking for something, or someone, especially. Think "do I?". Think I'm not specifically looking for anything, because I don't know what to look for. Think I'm as confused as ever.

Suddenly think that what I need, aside from a fucking good therapist, is a father-figure/mentor type man. Someone much older than me, and wiser (although that isn't hard!), someone I can confide in and turn to for some reassurance.... if that's the right word. I'd love that. No romantic or even sexual leanings, although I probably would also want them to give me a good thrashing when I'm feeling particularly shit.

Hmm. That looks more fucked up written down than it seems in my head. I need to think about that a bit more, perhaps?