milk

It's exciting - but none the less strange - the path your mind can take once you start fantasising and experimenting. The cuckolding for example; it was the last thing I would have expected to get turned on by, but through a series of events and mental images, that's the way it's gone. And going back much further than that - if someone had told me when I was fifteen that in a years time I would be getting spanked and engaging in pet-play, I would've punched them for being outrageous. Yet, when the next year came along, that was exactly what I was doing.

And more recently, if someone had said to me last week that I would fantasise what I fantasised about yesterday, I probably would've reacted much the same way. I can't even explain where it came from... I was thinking about tits, then I was thinking about my tits, then I was thinking about how big they became after I'd given birth, and then I was obviously thinking about being dominated, and the next thing you know, I'm fantasising about lactating boobs - my lactating boobs - a breast pump, and a shitload of milk.

The strange thing - apart from the obvious strangeness - is that when I gave birth, I hated the idea of both lactating and breastfeeding, and suffered the agony as they filled more and more, simply because I knew that any immediate relief (ie, pumping or breastfeeding) only led to more milk being produced. A vicious circle, indeed.

Oh my God! And the leaking nipples! I really, really disliked that too.

But in my fantasy, the leaking was turned into a point of humiliation for me. I had big/ger boobs, humiliation, and I was being dominated by my own body, in a round about way. And it was very, very erotic.

And I find that strange.