thinking thoughts

If you read my last post, you might be thinking how very level-headed I am. Well, I'm afraid that if you are thinking that, I have duped you. Indeed, I duped myself for about half an hour, as well. But I want to be level-headed, and that was a good effort, even if I do say so myself.

The truth of the matter is that my mind is constantly wandering back to the whole kink thing, and it drives me (and the boyfriend) fucking mental. I think about it, talk about it, scream, shout, and cry about it, and shitting fucking hell - why can't I just be normal?!? Or at least sane.

What do normal/sane people think about? The bills? Work? TV? Christmas? I have no fucking idea. I think about rope and cock and sex. I think about what lengths to cut my rope into, I think up ways to turn my bedroom into a den of debauchery, and I wonder if I attached a few lengths of rope to the feet of my king-size divan, would that facilitate me getting tied star-shaped to the bed? I've never been tied star-shaped to a bed, before. I berate myself for recently being 'unable' to do anal sex... the 'ouch' factor has returned, and it ain't good. What happened? I was such a good little anal slut, too. Damn. Safewords are also playing on my mind, having never had or used one before - obviously because I'm so hardcore, haha, and talking of hardcore... we need some good porn. Not Hogtied porn; there's far too much tit-torture and suspensions for me to enjoy that. And perhaps it's time I got some new (and more kinky) photos done?

And there is one thought that runs through my mind that is totally alien to me. The words 'you'd make a great domme'. Haha! I laughed. But it keeps coming back to me, and I find myself wondering if I could actually do it, if I might even like it on some level? Wouldn't that be peculiar.

Perhaps I should stop thinking, eh?